When Your Sense of Self Needs an S.O.S.
By Terre Short
Most of us recognize S.O.S. as a signal for distress, a call for help. Think: Tom Hanks in Castaway or ABBA crooning over love lost. The origin tracks back to 1906 when S.O.S. was established as an internationally accepted Morse code signal for distress. The signal is three short/three long/three short taps or light flashes, depending on the delivery method. Of course, we all know we can spell it out on the beach or with logs in a clearing if need be. While being interviewed on a podcast recently, it occurred to me that at various times of our lives we need help with our sense of self. The host was asking me how my confidence has evolved over time, and details about how I coach others.
I had help. I speak a lot about choosing words for your “Personal Podcast” or internal narrative. The words you choose and the beliefs they create, inform your sense of self. We are the stories we tell ourselves, and sometimes the ones we believe that others tell us about ourselves. Fortunately for me, my father consistently told me how capable I was (am) – to do anything. I believed him. Still do. This is a helpful narrative that uplifts my sense of self. I choose to insert it often, particularly when I am in doubt or confronted with a new challenge.
Occasionally, we need help in changing an unhelpful narrative. This is why I am a coach. I believe everyone can live their fullest potential and create the life of their wildest dreams. Some people need help crafting the narrative that supports their vision for themselves. Vision boards are a great place to start, as are strengths and values lists. Here is a quick way to tease out some of your strengths and values.
What do others say about you? How would they complete these sentences? If you are unsure, ask a few people. You can also access Brené Brown’s downloadable list of values on her website.
- (Your Name) consistently leads with __________________________________
- (Your Name) embodies ___________________________________________
- (Your Name) is the true spirit of what it means to be _______________________
- (Your Name) exhibits a true sense of ________________________in all she does.
- When I think of (Your Name), I think of ________________________________
- (Your Name) handles most situations with such ___________________________
- (Your Name)’s communication is founded in _____________________________
These responses are characterized by the words you routinely choose, and therefore are the words that represent you – your strengths and your values. These same words can be used to elevate your sense of self, they are the help you need when dealing with any challenge. Living a joyful life hinges on having a healthy sense of self, one that serves you and your vision for the future. Our everyday word choices add to the narrative soup that others feed off of for their sense of self. Who will you uplift today with your words? How will you consciously support your sense of self today? Which words will you choose from your values and strengths, perhaps three long and three short, to be your S.O.S.?
