The Neuroscience of Self-Compassion: A Gateway to Appreciating Others

By Terre Short

Do you ever wonder why providing positive reinforcement, recognizing the efforts of others, seems to come easily to some people and be a struggle for others? As someone who finds myself helping others build their teams, I often find leaders struggling with self-compassion. I have been curious if there is a relationship between self-compassion and showing appreciation for others. This is a fascinating and enlightening rabbit hole!

In our pursuit of building more positive and productive relationships, both personally and professionally, we often overlook the crucial foundation of self-compassion. While it might seem counterintuitive that focusing on our relationship with ourselves could enhance our ability to appreciate others, cutting-edge neuroscience research reveals that self-compassion rewires our brains in ways that enhance our capacity for altruism and social connection.

The Neurological Foundation of Compassion

Recent studies using advanced neuroimaging techniques have identified what researchers call the “compassion network” in the brain, which includes the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), anterior insula, medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), and temporal parietal junction (TPJ). Davidson and colleagues (2023) found that regular self-compassion practice increases gray matter density in these regions, suggesting that we can literally grow our capacity for both self-compassion and compassion for others.

This neurological evidence challenges the traditional notion that self-compassion is self-focused or selfish. Kim et al. (2022) used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to demonstrate that self-compassion practices simultaneously activate two important neural networks:

• The self-referential processing network
• The empathy and social connection network

I particularly like the definition of self-compassion that this study offers: “Self-compassion (SC) describes an emotionally positive attitude extended toward ourselves when we suffer, consisting of three main components; self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness¹. SC entails being warm and understanding towards ourselves when encountering pain or personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. SC also involves recognizing that suffering and failure are part of the shared human experience rather than isolating. In addition, SC requires taking a mindful approach to one’s feelings and thoughts, without judgment of them.”

The Bridge Between Self-Compassion and Other-Appreciation

This dual activation explains why individuals with higher levels of self-compassion demonstrate enhanced capacity for empathy, appreciation, and recognition of others’ efforts. When we practice self-compassion, we’re not just focusing on ourselves, we’re strengthening our capacity for social connection and understanding others.

Impact in the Workplace

The relationship between self-compassion and appreciation of others has particular relevance at work where we spend a third of our time. Organizations with higher levels of self-compassionate leadership demonstrate increased employee engagement; higher levels of collaboration; more frequent peer recognition; and enhanced team performance.

When self-compassion is cultivated, it creates a ripple effect throughout the organization. These positive emotions lead to more authentic recognition of team members’ contributions; reduced competitive behaviors; increased psychological safety; and better communication and feedback processes.

Four Practical Applications Based on Neuroscience

You may have seen reference to some of these practices in previous articles. We like to offer tangible steps for the part of the equation that you own, as well as tips for you to propose at your organization. First and foremost is tending to your self-compassion.

1. Integrated Compassion Practice

Combine self-focused and other-focused meditation in single sessions:

• • Begin with self-compassion meditation (5 minutes)
  • Expand to loved ones (5 minutes)
  • Further expand to all beings (5 minutes)

2. Micro-Practices for Neural Strengthening

Recent research suggests that brief, frequent practices may be more effective than longer, less frequent sessions:

• • 2-minute self-compassion breaks throughout the day
  • Compassionate touch (hand on heart) during stressful moments
  • Brief loving-kindness phrases during transitions

3. Recognition Rituals

Establish regular practices for acknowledging others’ efforts:

• • Starting meetings with appreciation shares
  • Creating structured peer recognition programs
  • Implementing “celebration circles” for team achievements

4. Compassionate Leadership Training

Invest in developing leaders who understand the connection between self-compassion and team appreciation through:

• • Regular workshops on emotional intelligence
  • Mindfulness training
  • Communication skills development focused on appreciation and recognition, and the release of limiting beliefs

The emerging neuroscience clearly demonstrates that self-compassion practice is far from selfish, it’s a powerful tool for rewiring our brains in ways that benefit both ourselves and others. Think of it as putting your own oxygen mask on before assisting others – how full your self-compassion compartment is will determine how much you have to offer others.  By engaging in the activities mentioned herein, we are actually building our capacity to be more generous and appreciative of others, creating a positive cycle that benefits everyone involved.

References:

• Davidson, R. J., et al. (2023). Neural Correlates of Compassion Training: A Longitudinal Study. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 35(4), 612-628.
• Kim, J. Y., et al. (2022). Dual Networks in Self-Compassion Practice: An fMRI Study. NeuroImage, 256, 119225.

Terre Short is a best-selling author, executive leadership coach, dynamic speaker and learning experience creator who connects from her heart. Visit ThrivingLeaderCollaborative.com to learn more.