Community Builds Strength
By Lisa Solis DeLong, RN
Photo: Lisa DeLong leading a closing ceremony at Rythmia Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica.
Most spiritual traditions encourage participation in a community. Certainly, more so during the holidays. Whether attending church or sitting in a meditation group, the social support we receive can provide a sense of belonging, security and strong relationships. All of these factors have been proven to increase wellbeing, mood and even bolster life expectancy.
I was born into a Catholic family, became born again in my teens, raised my family Baptist, and then grief cracked me open to explore spirituality, metaphysics, and shamanism. Sometimes life pushes us to turn inward where we can then seek deeper meaning which may cause our community to change because we have changed ourselves.
There’s no doubt we need experiences with others for spiritual growth. We exercise our spiritual receptivity when we participate in prayer, service, retreats, circles, and ceremonies. Just like a sport, if you’re sitting on the side lines you are not exercising your muscles. The people we do this with become our team mates, our tribe. Similarly, our spiritual muscles need to be worked out with others.
Participation allows us to learn how to connect with people. We all have fear around being accepted by the tribe. If your social interaction is only virtual, you are limiting your ability to grasp the subtleties of the human experience which includes spiritual, energetic and intuitive receptivity. Most everyone I know these days who has returned to a community gathering has expressed a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for the experience.
According to Dr. Steven Southwick, spiritual strength can help you overcome hardships. In his book, Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges, he describes how some people overcome trauma—such as abduction, war, and imprisonment—by seeking comfort in spirituality or religion. He gives examples where spiritual people find ways to “meet the challenge and continue with purposeful lives…they bounce back and carry on.”
Having a strong spiritual outlook may help you find meaning in life’s difficult circumstances. Southwick describes the story of a woman who overcame the post-traumatic stress following an abduction and rape by believing that her trauma “served as a platform for her personal development, forcing her to evaluate her life and gradually change it for the better. She credits her ability to move forward with her life…to her dedication to spirituality.”
I can certainly say the same for myself. The night before my fifteen-year-old son transitioned out of physical and into spirit, I dreamt his passing in great detail. Twelve hours later, I lived those details in real life. This was such a profound experience that it served as a platform for me to see myself through the darkness of grief. This is one reason I resonate with shamanism because the definition of a shaman is one who sees in the dark. I get that.
The spiritual practice of recognizing the interconnectedness of all life can also help buffer the pain that comes with difficult experiences. Researcher Kristin Neff says that “if we can compassionately remind ourselves in moments of falling down that failure is part of the shared human experience, then that moment becomes one of togetherness rather than isolation. When our troubled, painful experiences are framed by the recognition that countless others have undergone similar hardships, the blow is softened.”
I believe what it ultimately comes down to, as we come out of the shared human complexities of 2021, is that we can best serve ourselves and others through community. Framed by the recognition that countless others have undergone similar hardships over the last two years we can create a strong sense of belonging not only to boost happiness but to increase resilience. And who doesn’t need some of that kind of medicine right now? It is my personal prayer that 2022 be the year we build our spiritual muscles and lift ourselves up in community with more compassion, love and joy.
