Strategies to Build and Enhance Confidence

By Terre Short

Has anyone ever suggested that you “be more confident,” or have you ever made that recommendation to someone? I’d like to propose a more helpful way to encourage confidence. Hearing that you need more confidence may have the opposite effect. You might be left to ruminate on what you are not doing well, and how your presence is less than you desire or expect.

In part one of this series on confidence, I outlined the key components of confidence; where it comes from and how it is affected. The categories are genetic disposition, childhood experiences, social learning, achievements and failures, and cognitive processes/thought patterns. While it might seem the first two are out of your control, how you respond now to reflections on your genetics and childhood is certainly within your control. Anyone can build confidence, and some do so against all odds (think Erik Weihenmayer, the blind athlete who climbed Mt Everest, and so many others!).

Building confidence is an ongoing process that involves conscious effort and practice. Here are some evidence-based strategies to develop and maintain confidence:

1. Set Realistic Goals: Establishing achievable goals provides a sense of direction and purpose. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks to create a series of successes. This approach is one of the most effective ways to build self-efficacy. Each time you meet a goal, you elevate your perception of self.
2. Embrace a Growth Mindset: Adopting a growth mindset, the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work, fosters resilience and a love for learning. Carol Dweck’s research highlights that individuals with a growth mindset are more likely to persevere in the face of challenges, thereby enhancing their confidence (Dweck, 2006). We advance exponentially when we recognize every challenge as an opportunity; to learn, to gain a new perspective, to reinforce our strengths.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Being kind to oneself, especially after setbacks, is crucial for maintaining confidence. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, love and understanding as you would offer a friend. You would likely not tolerate anyone bullying your friend or loved one, so why would you allow your internal narrative to bully you with unhelpful, often untrue, stories. Reducing negative self-talk promotes emotional resilience.
4. Visualize Success: Visualization techniques include mentally rehearsing successful outcomes, which enhances performance and confidence. Athletes and performers often use visualization to prepare for competitions and presentations, which has been shown to improve actual performance (Driskell, Copper, & Moran, 1994). Neuroscience informs that our brains do not separate imaginary and real, meaning what we can visualize can be perceived as real, as truly possible. This is what leads us to the goals we have created – see #1 on this list.
5. Develop Competence: Competence breeds confidence. Continuously improving skills and knowledge in a particular area can significantly boost confidence. This can be achieved through education, training, and deliberate practice. Malcolm Gladwell illustrated this brilliantly in his book, Outliers, where he studies many masters of their craft, citing 10,000 hours of practice as the determinant of skill mastery. There is a lot of growth and seeds of confidence planted well before that many hours are achieved, every minute of effort counts.
6. Seek Constructive Feedback: Constructive feedback helps individuals understand their strengths and areas for improvement. Seeking feedback from trusted sources can provide valuable insights and reinforce self-efficacy. The key here is to be very specific with those you seek feedback from. Take, “how did I do” to “what did I do particularly well, and what would you recommend I change.” It is also helpful to prep your trusted source on what exactly you wish them to assess.
7. Build a Supportive Network: Surrounding yourself with supportive and positive individuals can enhance confidence. Social support provides encouragement, reassurance, and practical advice, which serves to elevate your sense of self. This is where “social networks,” the kind we scroll through on our phones, can erode confidence. Too much comparing, and any amount of judging feeds internal negativity, which in turn negates the positive efforts put forth in any of these strategies. Support is a two-way street. When you connect with someone in your network, and you speak from a place of kindness and gratitude, you will bolster your own self-confidence while likely elevating the other person as well. Try it!
8. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Whether you reflect on your genetic disposition, early childhood experiences, or what happened in the office last week, your mind can choose two pathways. Your beliefs, stories, and conditioning can all lead you on a downward spiral, unless you pause long enough to recognize this path and actively choose to change the narrative. Replace the unsupportive, possibly untrue words, with what I like to call, “evidence to the contrary.” This evidence is gained through a commitment to #1-7 of these strategies. Each of them will provide you with evidence that is contrary to what your conditioned narrative wants to offer, and you can choose the path of a positive, supportive, upward spiral.

Confidence is a multifaceted trait influenced by genetic, environmental, and cognitive factors. Building and maintaining confidence requires intentional actions. By setting realistic goals, embracing a growth mindset, practicing self-compassion, and seeking constructive feedback, you can enhance your confidence and improve your overall wellbeing. Understanding the origins and mechanisms of confidence provides a foundation for developing this vital trait. Through consistent effort and the right strategies, anyone can build the confidence needed to navigate life’s challenges and achieve goals.

So instead of suggesting someone (even yourself) “be” more confident or “get” more confidence, I encourage you to consider this list. Then offer specific feedback and ask great (what/how) questions that bolster positive reflection. For example, you might ask:

• How are your goals supporting your growth?
• What have you learned from a recent challenge?
• How have you practiced great self-compassion this past week?
• What does success look like?
• What do you need to learn to be successful in ______ area? How will you gain this knowledge?
• How can I support you? What specific feedback would be helpful to you?
• What is your evidence to the contrary?

Confidence is not built or gained in a vacuum, and you get to choose how and when you build it. What confidence will you work on this month? How will you actively participate in elevating the confidence of someone else? Feel free to connect with me to share your success, I’d love to be part of your journey to your fullest potential.

Did you miss part 1? Continue learning with “Where Does confidence Come From?”.

References

Driskell, J. E., Copper, C., & Moran, A. (1994). Does Mental Practice Enhance Performance? Journal of Applied Psychology, 79(4), 481-492.

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.

Gladwell, M. (2009). Outliers. Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Terre Short is a best-selling author, executive leadership coach, dynamic speaker and learning experience creator who connects from her heart.