Validation: The Art of Knowing You’re Doing It Right

By Terre Short

Validation is one of those words that seems to have its hands in everything. You can validate an idea, a skill, an accomplishment, or even your parking ticket. You can seek validation from others or provide validation to someone in need of encouragement. In essence, validation is the process of confirming, recognizing, or proving that something is true, effective, or worthwhile. But how do we know when something (or someone) has been validated? And why does it matter so much?

Let’s dive into the different facets of validation and explore how it applies to skills, goals, expectations, and even those tiny moments that make us feel seen.

Validating a Skill: The Proof is in the Doing

Imagine you’re at a talent show, and someone claims to be a world-class juggler. How do you validate that claim? Well, quite simply, you ask them to juggle. Validation of a skill is about demonstration and assessment. Whether it’s juggling, coding, playing the piano, or baking the perfect sourdough loaf, validation comes from seeing the skill in action and evaluating its effectiveness.

How to Validate a Skill:

1. Observation: Watch the person perform the skill. Are they smooth, confident, and successful in their execution?
2. Testing: If applicable, put their skills to the test. A chef may have to cook a meal for judges, or a software developer may need to debug a program.
3. Feedback: Sometimes, validation comes in the form of expert or peer review. A coach, mentor, or experienced individual can assess whether the person has met the standard of excellence.
4. Repetition: A one-time success can be luck. True validation comes when someone can repeatedly demonstrate their skill over time.

How can you leverage validation for skills? Do you have interviewees demonstrate a key skill needed for the job? Do you ask for examples?

Validating a Goal: Did We Make It?

Goals are all about achievement, but how do you know when you’ve truly succeeded? Some goals are easy to validate—if you set a goal to run a marathon and cross the finish line, boom! Validation achieved. But what about the less tangible goals, like improving your confidence or becoming a better leader?

How to Validate a Goal:

1. Set Clear, Measurable Criteria: The more specific the goal, the easier it is to validate. Instead of saying, “I want to be healthier,” define the goal: “I will exercise three times a week and eat five servings of vegetables daily.”
2. Track Progress: If you’re working toward a long-term goal, keep track of progress through journaling, metrics, or feedback from others.
3. Check for Real-World Impact: If your goal was to improve at public speaking, have people noticed a difference? Are you speaking more confidently and engaging your audience? Seek specific feedback.
4. Self-Reflection and Peer Acknowledgment: Sometimes, validation comes from within. At other times, we need external recognition to confirm that we’ve met our objectives.

A well-validated goal leaves little room for doubt. If you planned to save $10,000 in a year and you check your bank account to find $10,500, congratulations! You’re validated.

Validating Understanding: Did They Get It?

Anyone who’s ever taught a class, trained a new employee, or explained how to assemble furniture to a friend knows that just because you said something doesn’t mean the other person understood it. Validation of understanding is about ensuring that information has been received, processed, and correctly applied.

How to Validate Understanding:

1. Ask for Recap: A great way to check understanding is to have the person explain the concept back to you in their own words.
2. Use Practical Application: If you’re teaching someone to change a tire, don’t just tell them how—have them do it. Remember the value of see one – do one – teach one.
3. Check for Questions: When someone truly understands something, they often ask deeper, more insightful questions rather than just nodding along.
4. Look for Confidence: A person who understands something well can discuss it confidently without hesitation.

Have you ever given someone directions, only to see them walk off in the completely wrong direction? That’s a case of failed validation! Ensuring comprehension before moving on can save time and frustration. We highly recommend this as part of effective 1:1 meetings.

Emotional Validation: Feeling Seen and Heard

Beyond skills and achievements, one of the most powerful types of validation is emotional validation. People thrive on feeling acknowledged and understood. It’s not about agreeing with someone all the time; it’s about recognizing their feelings as real and legitimate.

How to Validate Someone Emotionally:

1. Listen Without Judgment: Give the person space to express themselves without immediately offering solutions.
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings: Saying “I can see that you’re really upset about this” is far more validating than “Just get over it.”
3. Reflect Back What They’re Saying: Repeating or summarizing what someone has expressed shows you’re truly listening.
4. Support Without Fixing: Sometimes, people just want validation, not solutions. Instead of “You should do this,” try “That sounds really tough—I’m here for you.”

A small dose of emotional validation can make a huge difference in someone’s day. Who doesn’t want to feel seen and understood?

Final Thoughts: Validation is Everywhere

From proving a skill to confirming understanding, from checking off goals to feeling truly heard, validation plays a role in many areas of life. At its core, validation is about confirmation—whether it’s confirming that you’re a great cook, that you’ve reached a milestone, or that your feelings are valid.

The next time you validate something—be it a person’s emotions, a friend’s abilities, or a learning moment—take a moment to appreciate the power behind it. Validation is more than just proof; it’s recognition, assurance, and sometimes even a little bit of magic.

Terre Short is a best-selling author, executive leadership coach, dynamic speaker and learning experience creator who connects from her heart.

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