Words Are the Conduit Between Our Heart and Our Head
By Terre Short
Our words have power – the power to uplift or tear down, to spread love or breed contempt. As human beings, we are uniquely gifted with the capacity for complex language. With this gift comes great responsibility in choosing words carefully and consciously. The words we use can profoundly impact our own hearts and minds, as well as those with whom we interact.
As I dig deeper into what we are learning through neuroscience, I consider a few key points in the book I wrote in 2020 and what I would add to it now. In The Words We Choose: Your Guide to How and Why Words Matter, I cover word choices for internal narratives to patterns with loved ones, words at work and in the world at large. I illustrate how words shape our inner worlds, which in turn affects our outward behavior and relationships. Here are a few key concepts with additional thoughts from the past few years of listening and learning. I am eager to hear what resonates with you, and invite you to explore related resources on the Thriving Leader Collaborative website or our app.
Our Words Impact Our Internal Experience
The words we use internally in our self-talk can either empower or diminish us. Referring to difficult tasks as things we “have to” do versus things we “get to” do shifts our mindset from burden to opportunity. Using judgmental language such as “should” or “must” on ourselves or others generates a sense of burden rather than motivation. These words imply a lack of full ownership for the action. Even small tweaks in our internal vocabulary can transform our mental and emotional outlook.
Likewise, the stories we tell ourselves about our lives and abilities construct our sense of self. Are the narratives playing in your mind uplifting or limiting? The more we can reframe challenges as opportunities for growth and view setbacks as springboards for resilience, the more we empower ourselves to live fully and act boldly. We are capable of creating new neural pathways as we change the narrative. Our inner voice shapes our emotional state – let’s make it one of courage, not fear.
Words Build Bridges Between People
Beyond the self, words serve as messengers between human hearts. What we say and how we say it forges connections between ourselves and others. The words we choose in dialogue with friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers convey inclusion, respect, and caring – or their opposite.
Words of judgment and assumption distance us from others. In contrast, words of grace that seek true understanding build bonds of trust. We do this by asking impactful questions. We do this by honoring the profound gift of silence, and by offering space for others to be fully seen and heard. Engaging in active listening without interruption enables deep connection. Who did you hear into being today?
Words Shape Our Relationships and Culture
Beyond individual interactions, the types of words we elevate and normalize through media, entertainment, politics, and corporate messaging influences societal values. Words reflecting inclusion, diversity, and equity lead to more just and compassionate communities. Words of judgment and prejudice engender division and fear.
The words we consume shape cultural narratives about whose voices and lives matter. The more we can support art and dialogue that leads with empathy, the more we contribute to a climate of mutual understanding. This takes awareness and intention around the voices we amplify through the media and leaders we endorse.
Our words also influence organizational culture and policies. How companies communicate with employees and customers either builds trust and goodwill or erodes it. Words that imply profit over people breed disconnection and distrust. In contrast, words that honor human dignity and shared values foster strong relationships and ethical practices. Check the words at your workplace, in messages, on your job application, at meetings – do they elevate, are they inclusive?
The Words That Connect Our Hearts
Language is perhaps humanity’s most powerful gift, and too often we underestimate its significance. Words are rarely neutral or benign. The words we think, speak, and consume continually impact our inner worlds and our shared world in turn. Let us wield this gift with wisdom, empathy, and care.
Through language, we construct hearts of hope or despair, connection or isolation, love or fear. May we have the courage to use words that bridge our shared humanity, uplift the vulnerable, liberate the oppressed, and bend the moral arc of our communities and culture toward justice. This is the sacred duty of speech. Dialog can impact a heart word by word. Our words can change the world – one conversation at a time.
Terre Short is a best-selling author, executive leadership coach, dynamic speaker and learning experience creator who connects from her heart.
